The mailman told me he’s off to

The mailman told me he’s off to Spain tomorrow…

So I asked him if he was going to Parcelona. He proceeded to ignore what I believe was my best joke. I probably didn’t say it right. The key to a good mailman joke is the delivery.

I’m originally from Spain, and one the strangest

So, I’m originally from Spain, and one the strangest things I discovered when moving to America was the was you hold your pens.
In Spain, we hold them straight up, whereas you hold them slightly on the side. I would always get weird looks when writing with my fountain pen. It’s not all that surprising.
After all, nobody expects the Spanish Ink Position.

Once upon a time, a beautiful princess happened

Once upon a time, a beautiful princess happened upon a frog in a pond.

The frog said to the princess, “I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel lucky for doing so.”

That night the princess had frog legs for dinner.