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Funny Jokes MrKaku.com

Funny, Short Jokes & Hilarious One Liners Jokes !

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Pirate Jokes

Funny Pirate Jokes & Puns

Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy?

by

Why are pirates such eager readers of the Playboy?

–

Because of the arrrticles.

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Oh no, sir, I said pirate ship.

by

Oh no, sir, I said pirate ship. What on Earth would possess me to call you a pile of shit?!

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What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego?

by

What does the pirate say when he steps on a Lego?

–

Arrrrrgh!!!

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What is pirates’ favorite choice of music?

by

What is pirates’ favorite choice of music?

–

aRR n’ B

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What is a pirate’s favorite movie?

by

What is a pirate’s favorite movie?

 

Booty and the Beast. (But it is arr-rated.)

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What’s the difference between a pirate and

by

What’s the difference between a pirate and a strawberry farmer?

The pirate buries his treasure, the farmer treasures his berries.

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How did Capitan Hook die? 

by

How did Capitan Hook die? 

He got distracted and wiped his butt with the wrong hand.

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How do pirates know that they are pirates?

by

How do pirates know that they are pirates?

They think so, therefore they arrr.

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What do you get when you cross

by

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a shark?

A bird that will talk your head off.

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To err is human. 

by

To err is human. 

 

To arr is seriously pirate.

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Why did the pirate cross the road?

by

Why did the pirate cross the road?

To reach the second hand shop.

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How does a pirate get to the top

by

How does a pirate get to the top of the building?

By elevataaaaarrrrrr!!!!!

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What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?

by

What kind of a ship is most feared by pirates?

The Steady Relationship.

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Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?

by

Why don’t the Chinese make very good pirates?

Because they’re not very strong in the ‘Arrrr!’ department.

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I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe

by

Steve: I know a pirate with a wooden leg called Joe.

Pete: Really? I wonder what he called his hook.

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How did Captain Hook died?

by

How did Captain Hook died?

Multiple stabbings. He got a bad case of an itchy rash.

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What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

by

What is a pirate’s favorite letter?

 because it would be an R, but it’s missing a leg.

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In case his ship is sunk

by

In case his ship is sunk, every pirate carries a bar of soap with him at all times. 

You know, to wash him ashore.

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Who was the first pirate?

by

Who was the first pirate?

Noah, the builder of the Arrrrk.

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What is regularly given to the sea around

by

What is regularly given to the sea around 8 am, if the digestion is right?

The captain’s log.

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How do pirates communicate with each other?

by

How do pirates communicate with each other?

With an Aye phone.

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How do you greet a Spanish pirate guy

by

How do you greet a Spanish pirate guy with a rubber toe?

Hola Ruberto!

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pirates to learn to read?

by

Why is it so hard for pirates to learn to read?

Because they spend months and months at C.

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Why don’t pirate marriages last much?

by

Why don’t pirate marriages last much?

–

Because of all the arguments.

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What were the pirate’s words when he blew

by

What were the pirate’s words when he blew out the candles on his 80th birthday cake?

Answer: Aye matey!

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Why do pirates make great lawyers?

by

Why do pirates make great lawyers?

Because they have very good arrrrguments.

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 How does a pirate declutter his ship?

by

 How does a pirate declutter his ship?

By having a yarrrrd sale.

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Why are pirates bad at cards?

by

Why are pirates bad at cards?

It’s kind of hard to play when you’re sitting on the deck.

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What do you call a pirate with two eyes

by

What do you call a pirate with two eyes, two hands and two legs?

A beginner.

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What subject are pirates best at at school?

by

What subject are pirates best at at school?

Arrrrt.

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What happened to the pirate

by

What happened to the pirate when his wooden leg caught fire?

 

He got burnt to the ground.

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Why don’t you usually see a pirate

by

Why don’t you usually see a pirate that is a smoker?

Because they use the patch.

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How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?

by

How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast?

–

Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.

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How can you tell a pirate

by

How can you tell a pirate has fallen for modern technology?
–
It’s the iPatch that gives it away.

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Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive

by

Wooden pegs and hooks are really expensive these days. –

They cost an arm and a leg.

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