I must get my beauty rest. See you in the morning.
There is a time for many words, and there is also a time for sleep. – Homer
The first step to getting anywhere is deciding you’re not willing to stay where you are.
While you dream, I wish that each hope and goal comes true. I just want you to receive everything that you have wished for.
I don’t dream about you, because I can never fall asleep thinking about you.
Here is to hoping that angels will guard you while you dream and the gentle breezes of the night will keep you cool. If it is too cold, may your blankets be warm as you drift on to a gentle rest.
What did the tie say to the neck?
I think I’ll just hang around.
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
What’s a frog’s favorite drink?
Why shouldn’t you have pets in Spain ?
Because you can’t leave your Catalonia
Which celebrity gets the most speeding tickets?
May you dream of lovely things and to find them real.
This is the end of the day, but soon there will be a new day.
Keep your spirits up because there are always more chances.
Always end the day, with a positive thought. No matter how hard things were, tomorrow’s a fresh opportunity to make it better.
Did you hear about that new movie called Constipation?
No? That’s because it’s not out yet.
Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in.
Was invited to a birthday party last evening but didn’t have a Blast. Hardly any Bombs!
If you have 23 people in the same room, there is a 50% chance that two of them will share the same birthday. (Mathematics have proven this)
It’s always a good idea to make friends with babies.
That’s free cake once a year for a lifetime.
My Chemistry professor asked me if I knew what atomic number 102 on the period table was
“Yes! I see someone’s been studying.”
The best present is the present made by your own slaves.
People come and go but birthdays do accrue.
Q: Did you hear about the winner of the Spanish beauty contest?
A: Me neither.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong?
Neil walked the moon, Michael Jackson… fucked little boys.
What will Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both be getting for Christmas?
I watched Justin Bieber get shot in CSI and my brother asked “Why are you crying?”
I said “Because he didn’t die in real life”
The thought of being with you tomorrow is what helps me through today.
Good night, my love!
Tonight I’m going to sleep earlier because I want to see you in my dream very early. Good Night.
If it comes back, I think that Friday night is not a good night to be on. – Amber Tamblyn
The best way to remember your 21st birthday, is not at all. Have fun blacking out.
My wife called and gave me a list of things she’d like to do for her 32nd birthday.
I replied, “There’s no way can we do all that in 30 seconds!”
I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you’re set on fire,
and then eaten by the hero that saved you.
Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won’t remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me.
What does Michael Jackson and a Nintendo have in common?
They are both made of plastic and kids turn them on.
I’m actually glad that 2 Chainz mentions his name at the begin of every song. It gives me time to change the radio station.
May I kiss you then? On this miserable paper? I might as well open the window and kiss the night air. – Franz Kafka
How do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.
Happy birthday, Bono. I wanted to get you the perfect present, but I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.
A man walks into a seafood store carrying a trout under his arm.
“Do you make fish cakes?” he asked.
“Yes, we do,” replied the fishmonger.
“Great,” said the man. “It’s his birthday.”
What does a turtle do on his birthday?
Why are birthday’s good for you?
Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
How many lives does a German cat have?
What does a martial arts expert drink?
What do you call a rental car in Spain?
Everyone should stop hating on Lance Armstrong. He won 7 Toure De France’s on DRUGS!
When I’m on drugs, I can’t even FIND my bicycle.
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team?
Because she kept running from the ball.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish.
Sleeping is nice. You forget about everything for a little while.