My wife and I have been married

My wife and I have been married for quite a few years and my wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again.

I brought home diet pills. Apparently very much not what she meant.

Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire

It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire.

They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the assault only worsens when the darkness sets in.

Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These darn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“

A patient bursts into a doctor’s office

A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I believe I’m a deck of cards!”

The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”

“How dare you fart before my sister?

A man farts unintentionally but loudly at a party. Another man looks absolutely scandalized and says, “How dare you fart before my sister?!”

The farter looks replies, “I’m sorry – I wasn’t aware it was her turn…”