As is tradition in Italian families, Maria spends her wedding night in her family home. Maria is a good Catholic girl who has saved herself for her wedding night and her mother sleeps in the next room in case she has any questions. She says to Maria, “You have any a problem, you come and see Mama.
Maria goes to the bedroom with her new husband and as they’re preparing for bed, her husband unbuttons his shirt. When she sees his chest, Maria jumps up, runs next door and cries, “Mama, Mama! He has hair all over his chest!”
Her Mama reassures her, “Men have hair on the chest. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy.”
So Maria goes back, but when her husband takes off his belt, she jumps up again, runs next door and cries, “Mama, Mama! He has a protrusion in his pants!”
Once again, Mama reassures her, “He finds you beautiful. This is sign of a good man. Go now and make him happy.”
So Maria goes back and finally, her husband takes off his shoes. Due to a childhood accident, he only has half of his left foot. Maria jumps up and runs back to her mother’s room, shouting, “Mama, Mama! He has a foot and a half!”
Her mother leaps up and announces, “Stand back, Maria -this is a job for Mama!”