Funny New Year Status

How about wishing your people Happy New Year in a rather distinct manner? This distinct manner is none other than the addition of humour to your New Year status. Let everyone laugh out loud while reading out your funny New Year Status and have a happy time just because of you. 

  • May this New Year bring actual change in you – not recurrence of old habits in a new package.
  • New Year, same me – because I’m already pretty fabulous.
  • I pray sincerely no sequel is released into your favorite vampire romance this year!
  • May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!
  • Relationships these days are a joke. It’s like April 1st all year long.
  • New Year is a Holiday created by Calender’s vendors
  • I’m going order a pizza five minutes before the New Year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, LOL.
  • I have spent a lot of money previous new year in throwing a party for you guys. It’s high time to return the favor, boys. Anyways, happy new year!
  • The problem with new years resolutions is that people aim too high, start small like…” I’m not going to fart in church.”
  • I hope you start the New Year as the startup of your old habits. Have the same old beautiful life in a box of New Year!
  • Pop, fizz, clink — time to conquer 2020 like a boss!
  • Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
  • May this New Year bring actual change in me, nor recurrence of old habits in a new package.
  • This New Year, may you handle yourself with your brains, but comfort others with your heart.
  • Before I die, I would like to kiss someone at midnight on New Year’s.
  • Go ahead, resolve. It’s not as complicated as pregnancy.
  • *I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!
  • I would say Happy New Year, but it’s not happy; it’s precisely the same as last year except colder.
  • [sq]I wish for this year to have lesser disasters, less hate, fewer accidents, and loads of love. Happy New Year.
  • If nothing changes this New Year to your liking, change your habit of complaining!
  • New year resolutions are like food in love marriage. Everybody is obsessed over them but only a few manage to keep up with them.
  • *I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me!
  • This one is really funny because everyone is asking us about our new year resolution and we are like “Oh I will continue my previous one ;)”
  • I’m a holiday virgin: -Never had a New Years’ kiss. -Never had Valentine’s Day kiss. -Never had a Valentine.
  • This year I resolve to find out who I am.
  • New Year at the door remember, Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive Quickly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, Never regret anything that made you smile.
  • As you turn a new leaf in your Book of Life with the advent of New Year, here is wishing you the addition of meaningful chapters. Happy New Year!
  • I’m going to order a pizza five minutes before the new year, and when they arrive, I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.
  • Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.
  • Do you know what’s is the best way to eat pizza free at New year? Just order your pizza 5 minutes before the new year and it will arrive the next year!
  • I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.
  • May the happiness you get this year to become more significant than your weight…… Happy New Year!
  • I’m hiring a boyfriend for New Year’s Eve… if I’m single.
  • This year my New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘Secrets out!’ after I ejaculate.
  • *Dear Luck, can we be friends in 2020 Please…
  • You can do anything, but not everything – Happy New Year 2019.
  • If your new resolutions don’t bring any substantial changes in your life, the problem is you, not resolutions.
  • You can’t be everything, but you can be something. You can’t please everyone, but you can surely make loved ones happy!
  • Make new year resolutions when you are drunk. Even you break them, you have the right excuse to give.
  • My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
  • It’s time to start the new year. Let’s chill some champagne, whip up some party food, and start dancing the year away.
  • *It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!
  • Before I get drunk, dance on the bar, lose my phone, get naked and get arrested, let me wish you a Happy New Year!
  • First, you take a drink; then the glass makes a drink, then the bottle takes you. Happy new Year!
  • My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds, so I look skinnier.
  • Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Salman Khan, Jennifer Lopez, Amitabh Bachchan, and Me. All the stars wish you a very Happy New Year.
  • I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person.
  • I have got the best business idea in 2020. I’m going to start Facebook and WhatsApp rehab centers throughout the country.
  • Wait for a second, there’s ANOTHER year? Do I have to do it all over again?
  • Currently taking applications for my new year’s kiss…
  • *I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!
  • This Year may God inspire you to enroll in that anger management course finally.
  • May your New Year’s resolution be high definition. And may you be too drunk to understand that joke!
  • Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
  • It’s time for champagne, cake, and balloons. It’s time to celebrate the New Year. Happy New Year.
  • New Year Resolution: tolerate friends and family with extreme care even when they burn down your privacy!
  • Every year I resolve to Be Myself, but circumstances change me.
  • Flip a coin… If the head comes, I am yours; if the tail comes, then you are mine. happy new year
  • Read books instead of reading my status! Happy new year.
  • *A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
  • My new year’s resolution is 1920 x 1080.
  • New Year is not a life-changing event. You change your resolutions.
  • May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!
  • I think it’s great to make your first date a New Year’s party. That way, you’re at least sure you’ll get to first base.
  • For my new year’s resolution, I will work with neglected children. (my own)
  • Stop checking everyone’s new year status. Instead, create your own and let people follow you. Happy new year stupid!
  • Ever new year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
  • *New Year is like a restart button. Use it to start things over.
  • Don’t set your expectations, resolutions and wishes too high for this year. Did it make a difference last time?
  • This New Year, be at peace with your appearance, you are perfectly in shape – round is a shape in geometry!
  • I wish this new year all your previous year troubles last as until the new year ends. Pure savage, isn’t it?
  • *Life always gives you a second chance, its called Happy New Year.
  • I wish you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote this New Year.
  • I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year.
  • May all your troubles last as long as your New Years’ resolutions!
  • A life without love is like a year without summer.
  • I do not make New Year’s resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is fantastic. I’m not going to stop that in 2020.
  • *I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never have to commit it.
  • My foremost new year resolution is to cut down excess fat without cutting down junk food from my diet. LOL!
  • Do you know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this year, I’m going to take it one day at a time.[sq]
  • I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy New Year to me!
  • Kick everyone’s ass this year except mine. Have a kickass new year.
  • [sq]This Year, may you end up fighting less with your partner over the TV remote.
  • All I wish this new eve comes with a lot of joys for you since you look ugly while crying. Happy New Year!
  • This Year I wish you overcome your fear of cockroaches!
  • My wish is that this year, you fulfill your New Year’s resolution, especially the ones you made at the beginning of last year. Happy New Year!
  • May this New Year, you get blessed with fifty-two weeks and twelve months of happiness and never-ending joy.
  • May this new year you put up 50 more pounds of weight and break all resolutions on the very first day of the new year. Jokes apart, a very happy new year to everyone!
  • I make tons of resolutions every new year. However, none of my resolutions stays firm. Either circumstance makes me brake resolutions or my habits.
  • Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?[sq]
  • I need a date…only for New Years…
  • As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your in-numerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.
  • [sq]Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.[sq]
  • Like this, if you’re “never drinking again.”
  • Cheers to the people who love us, the losers who lost us, and the lucky bastards who get to meet us this year.
  • Stop checking my status. I don’t post my resolutions here.
  • Who says life doesn’t give second chance to individuals? It’s called a happy new year. Make the best use of your time.
  • If you were born in September, it is better to assume that your parents started their new year successfully.
  • Don’t let the shadows of yesterday spoil the sunshine of tomorrow. Live for today.
  • I wish you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote this New Year!
  • I would say “Happy New Year” but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.
  • I wish you can resist the temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year!
  • I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly this New Year.
  • *Happy New Year from someone who is Adorable, Handsome, and intelligent and wants to see you smiling always.
  • Life is all about making new resolutions on every new year and breaking them later, rest is just passing. Happy new year guys!
  • New Year is the time of the Year when you tell stupid people how good they are!
  • If I had done you wrong, I am sorry. May you still give me a chance this New Year to do it over and over again. Happy New Year!
  • May god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course in New Year.
  • My New Year’s resolution is to eat less so that I can be sexier. But whenever I see your fat body, I guess I am already successful with my resolution so I won’t do it anymore. Happy New Year to you!
  • This Year I wish you make fewer resolutions to give up drinking. Happy New Year!
  • I wish you finally implement the plan to use stairs instead of elevators at malls and markets this year.

 

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