Funny Love Quotes

The variety of funny love quotes are all that you need for some laughter. Life’s going to be so boring if there is no humour existing in it! How can you even imagine your existence without some laughs and endless smiles? Being funny is a blessing and if you are able to smile even in the smallest jokes, then you are quite lucky! If you are looking forward to express love to the most precious person in your life, it doesn’t mean you have to stay serious. It’s a myth that a proposal or expressing love needs to be a serious one. 

If you are quite interesting and looking for some amusement in your love life, then you shall try out reading the amazing funny love quotes. These are as exciting as ever and you will love having a look at them. How about adoring your partner with a pinch of laughter? Sounds prolific, isn’t it? Well, it indeed is! Just combine your actions, words and expressions with a bit of humour and you are good to go. Such communication will not only impress your partner but it is also going to leave an impression that will last forever.


  • Love is not some foolish adventure where you run off with your lover into the sunset, there’s bills, babies, unemployment and all kinds of real stuff going on out there so wake up!
  • Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. – Fran Lebowitz
  • Love recklessly and enjoy every moment but remember that dreams are just what they are, when you wake up, there will be bad breath, funny mannerisms and a lot more to tolerate.
  • When a boy gets jealous, it’s kinda cute. When a girl gets jealous, World War III is about to start.
  • You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale. -Hussein Nishah
  • My wife was afraid of the dark… then she saw me naked and now she’s afraid of the light. – Rodney Dangerfield
  • A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears. – Les Dawson
  • Getting into a relationship may seem tempting, but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there.
  • Some times love is just a mask, a disguise for gold diggers and they don’t mind telling you how beautiful you are just so you can point them to the gold.
  • Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. – Helen Gurley Brown
  • Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. H. L. Mencken
  • Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three-meals-a-day and remembering to carry out the trash. – Joyce Brothers
  • I’m now making a Jewish porno film. Ten percent sex, 90 percent guilt. – Henny Youngman
  • A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
  • Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning a handspring or eating with chopsticks; it looks easy until you try it. – Helen Rowland
  • Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.     -Fulton J. Sheen
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • It ain’t real love if you never been blocked before.
  • I want to be your sweet good morning, your lovely good night and your most painful goodbye.
  • Love is magical until you fall pregnant and you have babies, baby drool, diapers to change and sleepless nights driving you crazy. Then you realize love magic does not solve real life problems.
  • Say what you will about women but I think being able to turn one sentence into a six-hour argument takes talent.
  • I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.
  • Relationships are like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park
  • I had a dream that i still loved you…I think I woke up screaming.
  • I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
  • I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. – Russell Brand
  • Love is telling someone that his zipper is open or her wig looks too fake.
  • Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
  • I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
  • Love me and I’ll move mountains to make you happy. Hurt me and I’ll drop those mountains on your head.
  • Love with old men is as the sun upon the snow, it dazzles more than it warms. – J. P. Senn
  • My head and my heart will never cease their endless war. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. When my head says ‘I’m not thinking about her, my heart says ‘of course you do.’
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. – Albert Einstein
  • When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half days of your life. – Richard Lewis
  • An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
  • As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy. Ralphie May
  • I love you with all my belly. I would say heart, but my belly is bigger.
  • Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery. – Fulton J. Sheen
  • Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener. – Pauline Thomason
  • Would I rather be feared or loved? Umm… easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me. Michael Scott, The Office
  • If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. – Miles Davis
  • If you can stay in love for more than two years, you’re on something. – Fran Lebowitz
  • I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. – David Bissonette
  • The four most important words in any marriage. I’ll do the dishes.
  • The four most important words in any marriage…I’ll do the dishes.
  • Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed. – Albert Einstein
  • When a woman says “Do whatever you want” do NOT do whatever you want.
  • You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale. – Hussein Nishah
  • Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
  • Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller
  • Katherine Mansfield
  • Romance is the icing, but love is the cake.
  • In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left. – Solitaire Parke
  • Falling in love with you sure beats the other falls I had today!
  • I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. – Elizabeth Evans
  • If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools. – Katherine Mansfield
  • Sometimes I look at my boyfriend and think… Damn, he is one lucky man.
  • The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henry Youngman
  • During my days, the teenagers talk about movies, music and love. Now, all the kids talk about are sex, relationship and heartbreak.
  • I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu… But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.
  • If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? – Lily Tomlin
  • If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.
  • I wish there was a lie detector that you could carry in your purse because you hear too many love professions these days, you just know these are lies and they don’t even blink while doing it.
  • Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. – Woody Allen
  • Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. – Joan Crawford
  • Let’s be weird and wonderful together.
  • Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.
  • I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
  • Love has become so cheap that you find out the person you love has another lover who also has another lover and we all are simply passing around a big fat lie.
  • Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
  • If love is a blunder, then it means that the biggest fault in my life is loving you.
  • The more she turned right the more I turned wrong.
  • As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy. – Ralphie May
  • I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love.
  • Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills. – Jessica Martin
  • Love is like an hourglass, with the heart filling up as the brain empties. – Jules Renard
  • Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris
  • They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
  • I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself. – Johnny Carson
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in. – Richard Jeni
  • I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early. – Jack Benny
  • Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.     -Carroll Bryant
  • Love is a two-way street constantly under construction. – Carroll Bryant
  • Don’t love a crazy person, as much as they seem all shiny and attractive at first, you’ll be the one running for your life when the crazy finds it’s way to the surface.
  • Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. – Franklin P. Jones
  • Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener      -Pauline Thomason
  • I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.
  • We’re like Romeo & Juliet.. Except for the dying part of course.
  • If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards. – J.A. Redmerski
  • You’re basically the cutest thing I have ever loved, after my kitten.
  • My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
  • The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. – Coleridge
  • While you are busy swallowing his throat, remember it might not last forever so maybe if you don’t mind kissing him with his future girlfriend in mind, that would be much appreciated.
  • People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy. – Bob Hope
  • What’s more adorable than a baby panda snuggling a baby chick? Our love.
  • True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
  • I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?     -Jean Illsley Clarke
  • In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  • If my boyfriend tells me he is hanging with his female friends. I hope it’s 6 of them. So they can carry his casket.
  • Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status. After 3 it should default to “Unstable”.
  • Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator. -Helen Gurley Brown
  • Love is like finding a needle in a haystack. – FaithHopeNLove
  • My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back. -Refinnej Sin
  • Women might not be able to find their keys, hair ties, or shoes.. but they can remember something you said 8 months ago.
  • Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.
  • He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle. – Ring Lardner
  • Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. –  Jean Kerr
  • True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. – Erich Segal
  • Love is like a headache or a backache. It does not show in the MRI or X-ray, but you just know that it’s there.
  • Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. – Kathy Mohnke
  • All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. – Charles M. Schulz
  • An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. – Agatha Christie
  • A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
  • To fall in love is awfully simple, but to fall out of love is simply awful.
  • Marriage is a lot like the army, everyone complains, but you’d be surprised at the large number that re-enlist. – James Garner
  • Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there. George Burns
  • Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears!
  • Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
  • In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place.
  • Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce
  • When a woman says “What?” It’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.
  • If you checked with your doctor, I bet he’d say you’ve got a bad case of being loveable.
  • You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!
  • Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. – Billy Crystal
  • When she’s mad, even the demons run for cover…
  • Damaged and broken seem to be the new cool when it comes to love these days, the more rotten they are, the more likely they’ll fit into a Hollywood Romance but life is not film tricks. Things get real really fast.
  • You’re the cheese on top of my spaghetti, the cream on top of my frappuccino and the cheesecake on my red velvet cake.
  • Girls cry their eyes out until they are dry, while boys drink their beers until their mugs are all dried up.
  • If she happens to fall, I’ll be there to laugh at first and then help her up afterwards.
  • A kiss without a mustache is like an egg without salt. – Spanish Proverb
  • What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday. – Cindy Garner
  • We’re like Romeo & Juliet.. Except for the dying part of course. – Justina
  • I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it? – Jean Illsley Clarke
  • Save WATER! Shower with your Girlfriend.
  • Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. – Cathy Carlyle
  • When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. Helen Rowland
  • A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. – Tim Allen
  • Love is being stupid together.~ Paul Valery
  • Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them. – Bill Maher
  • Don’t ever believe that people have good intentions when they are horny, they would claim to love the devil just to get some of the cookie.
  • I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day. I haven’t had time for tobacco since. – Arturo Toscanini
  • A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears
  • Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller
  • My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. – Joan Rivers
  • I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.
  • The great question which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? – Freud
  • In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting parked in the wrong place. – Rowland
  • The more she turned right the more I turned wrong. – Mark W. Boyer
  • A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Some people are the literal representation of falling in love, they are practically stumbling blind, causing more havoc as they go, smashing into people’s hearts like hooligans.
  • You must be made of Iodine, Livermorium, and Uranium because I Lv U!
  • If only one could tell true love from false love as one can tell mushrooms from toadstools.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. – Steven Wright
  • The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history. – Quoteistan
  • He stole my heart so I’m planning revenge… I am going to take his last name.
  • People should fall in love with their eyes closed. – Andy Warhol
  • Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
  • Love is like finding a needle in a hay stack!
  • Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. – Thomas Dewar
  • You are the pain in my butt, the dent in my wallet and the scratches in my brand new car that I don’t mind.
  • You’re the obi wan for me.
  • Will you lend me a kiss? I promise to give it back.
  • My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me. – Garry Shandling
  • If your significant other is mad at you put a cape on them and say “Now you’re super mad!”.
  • I want someone who will pause his game just to answer my call.
  • You know how people say, “you can’t live without love”? Well, oxygen is even more important. Dr. Gregory Houser
  • My boyfriend is not allowed to hide his phone from me. As long as we’re together it’s not an iPhone, it’s a wePhone.
  • Together with you is my favorite place to be.
  • My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.
  • You’re just like bacon, beer and chocolate – you make everything better.
  • I love you like Sheldon loves his spot.
  • Love is fun but, it is not going to pay the bills.
  • True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. – Francois de la Rochefoucauld
  • Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. – Professor Irwin Corey
  • A person in love partly becomes a poet, a composer and the corniest person in the room.
  • I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner
  • Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore. – Bree Luckey
  • Marriage is like pantyhose. It all depends on what you put into it. – Phyllis Schlafly
  • Love makes people do silly things. Like, it made me send you this message!
  • He said, there was no spark between us anymore. So I tasered him.
  • Some people love you and this is a good thing, most others just love your designer shoes, your fat wallet and the nice ride you have parked outside.
  • Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. – Jackie Mason
  • It is not love that makes a relationship complicated; it’s the people in it who do.
  • A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.~ Tim Allen
  • Love is like a tornado, picks you up off your feet and sometimes takes half your house.
  • Give a girl a boyfriend and she becomes a total expert on relationships Cecily von Ziegesar
  • Behind every angry woman stands a man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
  • If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love. -Miles Davis-
  • My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met. – Rodney D
  • According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.
  • Love thy neighbor, just watch out for the husband
  • It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. – Lucille Ball
  • Love; A temporary insanity curable by marriage.~ Ambrose Bierce
  • The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24/7, 365 from birth until you fall in love. Sophie Monroe
  • You will always be my 11:11 and the name I write in my naughty list.
  • Between lovers, a little confession is a dangerous thing. Helen Rowland
  • Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess. – Lemony Snicket
  • My phone battery lasts longer than most of my relationships nowadays.
  • My mind works great wonder 365 days a year, 7 days a week and 24 hours a day until I met you.
  • When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.
  • All I know is one of us is right and the other one is you.
  • There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. – Chris Rock
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
  • My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler
  • It’s amazing how one day someone walks into your life, and then the next day you wonder how you lived without them.
  • Everyday I fall in love with you more and more. Except yesterday… yesterday you were pretty annoying.
  • My last love is just like that thong peter griffin borrowed from me… Never getting it back. – Refinnej Sin
  • I solemnly swear I am up to no good especially when I am all alone with you.
  • I wasn’t kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth. – Chico Marx
  • I love you enough to make our iPhone-Samsung relationship work.
  • You’re the cheese to my macaroni.
  • Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock. – Jewish Proverbangerfield
  • This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes. That’s how wonderful it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours.
  • Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns
  • Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. – Judith Viorst
  • Love is the same as like except you feel sexier. – Judith Viorst
  • I love you and it’s getting worse. – Joseph E. Morris
  • Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.
  • Stop waiting for your prince in a white horse. Go and find him. The poor bastard might be lost, stuck in an island or something.
  • Love is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill & not doing it because you’d miss them!
  • Promise yourself not to be a woman who needs a man to live, but a woman a man needs.
  • You need to ask people these days whether they are really in love or they are just drunk, too many people keep falling into relationships over a few bottles of beer.
  • They tell you how important inner beauty is and how you need to be patient to know them, but they never tell you there could be a monster also living inside them. It’s all part of the game.
  • Love is the seventh sense, which destroys all the other six senses.
  • Love is sharing your popcorn. – Charles Schultz
  • You see a little girl just a few days over eighteen years and she has a boyfriend who’s promising her the whole world on a plate, and you are wondering whether to tell her the truth.
  • When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
  • Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.
  • They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
  • They tell you they can’t live without you and that’s sweet but have you ever wondered how come they were still alive enough to meet you in the first place?
  • There are so many people who would tell you they love you and this would be true but what’s more important is if you love them too, everyone is responsible for their love.
  • A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. -Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Women hope men will change after marriage, but they don’t; men hope women won’t change, but they do. – Bettina Arndt
  • Love is telling someone their hair extensions are showing. – Natasha Leggero
  • Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
  • An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.     -Agatha Christie
  • By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
  • Marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the toilet seat, you also have to deal with feelings and the last resort, the lawyers.
  • I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?
  • Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family. – Chelsea Handler
  • Don’t feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate.
  • Staying in love for more than 5 years is almost impossible. Staying in love with the same person for you’re the rest of your life is a miracle.
  • You are the cause why my eyeglasses fog.
  • Beautiful words are not enough, ask her if she would stay if you suddenly couldn’t go to work or clean up yourself. Love isn’t all that cheap mushy stuff people throw around.
  • My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning. – Ray Romano
  • Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.
  • Arguing with a woman is like getting arrested. Everything you say can and will be used against you.
  • He makes me melt like a popsicle on the 4th of July! Darla, The Little Rascals
  • Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. Albert Einstein
  • You think he loves you cause he wrote you a love poem and texted it to you? You should probably go check your best friend’s phone, forwarded messages are quite resourceful.
  • Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. – George Carlin
  • Beneath the pack of chocolate, flowers and love songs, there’s probably some scented lies, assorted treachery and an epic exit plan when they are done with you.
  • You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keeps a goofy smile plastered on his face all day long.
  • A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
  • I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.
  • Love is being stupid together. – Paul Valery
  • He says he can’t live without you and this makes you happy. Remember he said this to the last girl, they broke up and he is still alive and kicking, dishing you the same lies.
  • They say true love hides behind every corner, I must be walking in circles.
  • If you feel intoxicated by it and you think love is blind, just remember how to pull yourself out of a ditch, cause no one gets paid to do that for you. Your blindness, your problem.
  • People should fall in love with their eyes closed.
  • Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. – Will Ferrell
  • Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood. – Oscar Wilde
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
  • You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
  • Being a good husband is like being a stand-up comic. You need 10 years before you can call yourself a beginner. – Jerry Seinfeld
  • Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.
  • What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds. – Cindy Garner
  • The key to a successful relationship is to clear your internet history.
  • As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.~ Ralphie May
  • You want hugs cause you love her or you just want to rub against her body cause you have an erection? Let’s be more specific about these things.
  • If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
  • When a woman starts laughing during an argument, She’s flipped her psycho switch and is about to murder you.
  • It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.
  • You’re basically the cutest thing I’ve ever loved, after my kitten.
  • A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
  • Don’t fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less.
  • Love is a lot like a backache: it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there. – George Burns
  • Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell. Joan Crawford
  • Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I’m with you!
  • One of the best strategies to detect fake love is by saying no to them, the minute you refuse them, they start to froth in the mouth and lose all composure. Now you run.
  • Where love is the case, the doctor is an ass. – English Proverb
  • If our love were a triangle, it’d be a-cute one!
  • My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fetchner
  • If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? – Lilly Tomlin
  • You’re adorable because I’m able to adore you.
  • Women love a self-confident bald man. – Larry David
  • True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen. -Francois de la Rochefoucauld
  • Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. – Erma Bombeck
  • My girlfriend isn’t allowed to go to the gym. What is she trying to do? Build the Strength to leave me?
  • Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbors ain’t.
  • Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers. – Richard Pryor
  • In my house I’m the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. – Woody Allen
  • Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
  • Besides chocolate, you’re my favorite.
  • Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the ZIPPER.
  • Good thing I brought my library card because I’m totally checking you out.
  • Loss for words? Give that person a hug. It’s worth a thousand and more. Plus, it’s free.
  • All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt. -Charles M. Schulz
  • Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
  • You keep asking him if he truly loves you, but you are not really sure you are ready for the truth. Take a breather, stop asking questions you don’t want answers to.
  • You love her, her sister, her cousin and her best friend. You have successfully turned love into a network marketing scheme.
  • If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji — no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back. – Chelsea Peretti
  • You add meaning to my life and yet, you subtract some cash from my wallet.
  • I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
  • I had a dream that i still loved you. I think I woke up screaming. – Christine
  • Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. ~ Franklin P. Jones
  • Always follow your heart, but remember to bring your brain along!
  • Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe. So basically a clown ninja.
  • In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left.
  • You’re like a dictionary – you add meaning to my life.
  • I like long romantic walks down every aisle at target.
  • Marriage is a great institution for those who like institutions. – Tommy Dewar

Having a person who you have always adored by your side is the best feeling ever. Make sure that they are always spending their precious moments with you along with a smile. The brand new funny love quotes are anyway going to give you both a series of laughters and wide smiles on your faces. Well, that’s all you need.