I was on the bus the other day

I was on the bus the other day and I really needed to fart.

Luckily the music was really loud so I timed my farts with the beat, and after a couple of songs I began to feel better.

As I left the bus though, I noticed everyone was starting at me in disgust.

That’s when I remembered I was listening to my iPod.

I was at a sophisticated dinner party

I was at a sophisticated dinner party the other day when I farted loudly.

One of the guests was appalled and said indignantly, “How dare you fart in front of my wife!”

I said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was her turn.”