A duck walks into a bar

A duck walks into a bar.

It asks the barkeeper: “Do you have bread?”

Bartender: “No.”

Duck: “Do you have bread?”

Bartender: “NO!”

Duck: “Do you…”

Bartender: “LISTEN! I HAVE NO BREAD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, I’M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THAT WALL!!!”

Duck: “Do you have nails?”

Bartender: “NO!”

Duck: “Do you have bread?”

Lilly bursts into the house

Lilly bursts into the house from the garden and tells her mom out of breath: “Mom, mom, I accidentally knocked over the big ladder that was leaning against the house!”

Mother says, “Well go get daddy, he’ll help you put it back.”

Lilly hops on the spot, “But I can’t, he’s still hanging onto the eaves trough!”