The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawking.

I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.

Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,

there is a stairway to heaven.

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,

To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!
A dull, dark dock, a life-long lock,
A short, sharp shock, a big black block!
To sit in solemn silence in a pestilential prison,
And awaiting the sensation
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

I chalk up my long life to spending as much time

It was grandpa Beeston’s 100th birthday and his health was still perfect. During his birthday celebration, his grandson asked how he was able to stay so young and fit.

He explained, “I chalk up my long life to spending as much time as I can outdoors. I have spent the last 75 years outside, rain or shine, taking in the fresh, clean air.”

“Wow grandpa! How do you manage to keep up such an intense exercise routine?” he asked.

“It’s easy,” he said. “When I married your grandmother 75 years ago, we made a promise to each other on our wedding night. We decided that when we had an argument whoever was wrong would have to head outside and take a long walk.”