Lilly bursts into the house from the garden and tells her mom out of breath: “Mom, mom, I accidentally knocked over the big ladder that was leaning against the house!”
Mother says, “Well go get daddy, he’ll help you put it back.”
Lilly hops on the spot, “But I can’t, he’s still hanging onto the eaves trough!”
Q: What has four wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.
What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?
Q: How do you know that the toothbrush was invented by a redneck?
A: Anyone else would have called it a “teethbrush”
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
Q: What do you call a black drinking out of the toilet?
A: Pushing his luck.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK’s head exploded out of sheer amazement.