It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire.
They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the assault only worsens when the darkness sets in.
Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These darn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“
A patient bursts into a doctor’s office, “Doctor, I believe I’m a deck of cards!”
The doctor calmly replies, “Go sit in the waiting room, please, I’ll be dealing with you later.”
A man farts unintentionally but loudly at a party. Another man looks absolutely scandalized and says, “How dare you fart before my sister?!”
The farter looks replies, “I’m sorry – I wasn’t aware it was her turn…”
Do you need to keep a blonde girl busy for days? Give her a paper with “please turn over” written on both sides.
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster!
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
Canoe help me with my homework?