My son wanted to know what it’s like to be married. I told him to leave me alone and when he did I asked him why he was ignoring me.
“I got lost.”
“Where are you?”
“In the car.”
Ladies and gentlemen – I present to you my wife!
A man simply doesn’t have a clue what real happiness is until he gets married.
But then it’s already too late for him.
Q: Why did God create Adam first and Eve as second?
A: Because he wasn’t interested in listening to anyone telling him how to make Adam.
Telegram to husband: Wife dead. Bury or cremate?
Man: Take no chances. Burn, then bury ashes.
”Man: Darling, I just ordered our groceries online.
Wife: Really?! You’ve just sent me a Whatsapp saying I should do the shopping.
Man: Well, that’s what I said.
My wife was complaining that only women are capable of doing more than one thing at once and how unfair that was.
So I told her to just shut the heck up and walk away.
Yep, you guessed it. She couldn’t manage either.
A wife complains to her husband: “Just look at that couple down the road, Roger, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her … Why can’t you do the same?”
“Are you mad? I barely know the woman!”
I don’t think you can trust anything that bleeds for five days and yet doesn’t die.Five Qualities of a Good Woman:
“Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?”
“She’s a liar and a cheat! She said she was the whole night and her sister’s!”
“So? Maybe she was.”
“Yeah, no way. I was the whole night at her sister’s!”